Beshie's Poem

THE ONE I’VE LOVED

You are mine
But I’m not yours
This is the sign
Of our separate doors
I turn you off
While you turn me on
My heart is soft
Yours is like a stone
You’re the greatest
And I’m the worst
I strike for the best
But you get me lost
You’re everything to me
Though I don’t mean any to you
It’s truly, madly, deeply
I feel for you
I am now tired
To wait for you
My eyes are dried
My heart is new
I will forget
Someone like you
But I’ll never regret
That I have loved you

My 14-year old POEM

Today is my mom and dad's 28th wedding anniversary. Me and my two younger sisters agreed to visit them. When we arrived, i am so happy to see the big smile on our mom's face and to hear the cheerful tone of my dad's voice. We often see each other but I know that today they are very excited to see us, just "us", coming home. Then, we went inside our rooms. As I open my old cabinet, I saw an old poem taped at the back of my cabinet's door. It was a 9-year old poem from Beshie. Seeing that poem reminded me how much I used to love writing. I used to write not just poems but also short stories. I also have dozens of journals that I don't know where my mom placed when I left home. Then I suddenly felt very eager to get hold of my first ever poem. It was a poem I wrote in 1995. I searched every inch of our house. I told myself I won't leave the house without it. I've been searching for quite sometime and I already felt bad when my younger sister came to me and asked, "Ano ba hinahanap mo at kanina ka pa paikot-ikot dyan?". "Yun kasing poem ko na WHEN THE RAIN SPEAKS hindi ko makita.", I replied. "Yun ba? May kopya ako.", she said. I felt so thrilled because finally, I'll get my hands on my 14-year old poem. =)

When the Rain Speaks

It was a cold dark night
The rain pours really hard.
I could hear the sound of roaring thunders
That frightened every child

I could not sleep
I feel so disturbed
A lot of things came into my mind
Making me hope to turn back the hands of time

I blame the rain
For I felt do much pain
If only I could stop it from coming
Then, there’s no need for me to see him leaving

Then, the rain suddenly stopped
Leaving me wondering alone in the dark
I searched for oblivion, I want peace
I don’t want to stay forever this way.

I remember the rain and also my mistakes
If the rain can only speak, maybe she will say
“I just want to remind you, it was sunny yesterday
And tomorrow lies a brand new day.”

"Hitch"

(A guy jumped on top of a girl's car. The girl hit the break and the guy fell in front of the car. The girl get off the car and asked the guy..)

GIRL: Why did you do that?

GUY: Because that's what people do.. they leap and hope to die they can fly because if they don't they will just be like rocks falling.. wondering on their way down why the hell they jumped. Now, here I am falling and there is only one person that can make me feel I can fly.. YOU!

(The girl burst into tears then hugs the guy. Happy ending.)

Very brave guy, right? Willing to take chances even in the middle of uncertainties. But what if the girl turn her back, ride the car and drive away? Does that make the guy stupid? Is he a failure? Should he continue to fight for this girl and wait for her to be ready to accept him again? Or he should move on and accept the fact that the girl loves her but too scared to take him into her life?

Somewhere along the highway called love, so many people will pass us by. Some will step on their break and spend some time with us. Others who are lost will stop to ask us directions. A few can also stop us and ask if they can hitch. And one or two might invite us to step inside their car, let us feel welcome and make every single moment of the ride memorable for us. Some will keep travelling with us and others will continue their journey without us. But whether they stay or leave, we should be thankful. Be thankful that amongst thousands of cars that passed by they stopped. They cared to build memories with us, trusted us to guide them and took a once in a lifetime ride with us. Leaving us doesn't mean they don't enjoy our company or they don't need us. Probably, they just found a better road or a faster route to take. Let them take the road of their choice but make sure you don't part ways with anyone on an unfinished road or you'll be the one left lost.

"THE not so SECRET GARDEN"

These past few days, living became an everyday struggle for me. It is a battle between right and wrong, good and evil, happy and sad, reality and fantasy, heart and mind. I always find myself in the middle... in the middle of no where and with no one to hold on to.

Then, a new love came. It is a love that lifts my spirit, giving me peace not just of mind and body but also of heart and soul. It is a blossoming love that keeps my feet on the ground and encourages me to see the bright light shining from the sun. I feel so much better now and I have my lovely sister to thank for this remarkable change. It is a change not of heart but of perception. She introduced me to the new " G " in my life (that is " G " for gardening. Yes, you heard me right. Gardening is my new love. Great name, right? hehe!). My new found love needs enough care, attention, true passion and great labor to grow and reach it's full potential. It will take some time before I can see the real beauty of this wonderful garden but I am willing to wait because in the end, I know it's all going to be worth it. OMG! I want to say that again. "I WILL WAIT because YOU'RE WORTH IT!" =)

(below are photos taken this afternoon..)