Easier said than done!!!

Be sensible.
Let your mind speak for itself.
Listen not only to your feelings but to reasons as well.
Always remember that if you lose someone,
someone better is coming tomorrow.
It's true that love can wait forever,
but it's crazy to stubbornly hope
for someone who doesn't even care
or understand how you feel.
Everyone deserves to be happy.
And you won't get it in the arms of someone
who keeps you waiting in vain.
You'll only get it from someone who will take you now
and love you forever...

one true love vs. one great love

you can never be truly happy with love alone...

all the contentment that people say when you love someone

is not true unless you decipher

your one true love and your one great love...

"Je-sabel"

One late afternoon, sometime in March of 2008, somewhere in Makati, I met this wonderful person that changed my perception about certain things.

Great things happen but I guess some good things never really last. Wherever you are, I wish you good life. I miss you.

My Childhood Sweetheart....

July 24, 2008. My first crush/first boyfriend turned 26. I met him 17 years ago. I was in grade 3 when I first saw him and fell in love with him. Apparently because of so many differences, our relationship didn't work out but we remained good friends. We chat once in a while and text each other every now and then.

"First love never dies." One way or another maybe it doesn't. It remains in our memories if not in our hearts. I don't love him as much as I did 17 years ago but I definitely consider him as an important person in my life.

For those who says you can never be friends with your ex, well, think again! Maybe you just have to let go of that old feelings and open your heart to new possibilities.

MOMENT

We all have our dark moments. Moments that we wish there is at least one soul to listen to us and offer us a shoulder to cry on. But what if there is no one to run to and there is no hand to hold on to? How can we make it through?

It was 3 in the morning,

The rain was pouring.

Alone, I was walking,

I don't know where I am going.

Tears are flowing,

My heart is aching,

Everything is so confusing,

I really hate this feeling.

I can't stop myself from remembering,

The night you said you were leaving.

I really saw it coming,

Yet, when the moment came, I can say nothing.

Now, everything has been said and done.

I can't believe the love is gone.

Things can never be undone,

But, you will always be my only one.

"chick-magnet"

There is this tall, dark and not at all handsome guy in the office that I really hate to see. He smokes like a chimney and and has a really loud mouth. I don't judge others base on their physical appearance but this guy brought out the worst side in me. Seeing him almost everyday makes me think that I'd rather die than see him come any near me.

One time he left his jacket with me. That was the time I haven't realized yet how annoying he is. Out of goodwill, I look after his jacket. A few weeks later he's spreading this rumor that I am borrowing his smelly jacket and that I like him and that he is such a "chick magnet". YUCK! And what is even more disgusting is that he has the nerve to drink at my mug without even asking if it's fine (close?!). If it wasn't my favorite mug, I could have thrown it by now. Eeeeeew!

I may not be beautiful nor has that super sex appeal but at least I know the difference between reality and fantasy. Wake up boy! Stop dreaming! I will never like you, not even in my wildest dream, not even if you are the last man in the world!

KUDOS!

Last week is such a great week for me. Well, it wasn't perfect because if we talk about my love life it doesn't even come close to being good.

I consider it as great week because I got a really good report card. My QA is perfect (100%, no accuracy, presence or protocol fails), elocution is 4 (meaning I have a good british accent.. yey!), CPT (call processing time) is 37seconds, productivity percentage is 101% and call connection is around 50% (I guess our mini-team will win the call connection race again... hehehe). Aside from that, our team only has 2 accuracy fails (hopefully boss can over turn the other one for us to get better statistics) and we achieved second to the highest call connection percentage last week.

I wish for more great week like this to come. GO TEAM!!!

CPT

Mag-11 buwan na ako sa trabaho sa darating na ika-20 ng Hulyo (Xet! ang lalim). Nung nagsimula ako sa team ang average (Sensya na di ko alam tagalog eh.) call processing time (CPT) ko eh nasa 55 seconds and above. For the last couple of weeks my CPT is down to 36 to 38 seconds. I'm so happy and I consider this as an achievement. Isa lang naman ang reason kung bakit bumaba ng husto ang CPT ko at yun ay lalake! Bwhahaha... Joke!

But kidding aside, lalake naman talaga (hehehe). Crush ko kasi yung isang newbie sa team ni Keropi. Sa tuwing nakikita ko yun ginaganahan ako mag-trabaho. Hindi nga lang CPT ko ang nag-improve pati elocution at call connection percentage ko tumaas din. But sadly, some good things never last. Di ko na kasi sya makikita ever. Last day na n'ya nung thursday. Eto kasing bwisit na Keropi na ito na saksakan ng epal hindi sya ni-extend. Di daw kasi na-meet ni Mat yung requirements sa CPT at Elocution (sana pala ni-donate ko nalang yung saken... hahaha) kaya ayun terminated siya.

Nalungkot ako sa pagkawala nya sa kumpanya pero wala naman ako magagagawa. Pero ayos lang yon. Sabi nga ng dati kong boss, "Nothing is lost in this world. A man's lost is another man's gain." Saan man sya mapunta, sana he'll be able to prove his worth and I know someone better will take the spot he left. And as for me, tuloy lang ang buhay... dapat ma-maintain ang CPT, Elocution at ang 100's para naman makarating sa UK! hehehe.

INBOX

SMS from SMOKEY. KEEP IT COMING DUDE!!!

1.) Think twice before leaving a space in someone's heart. Coz it is painful to realize in the end how much you miss that space and decided to go back only to find out that someone had taken your place. (Hay Naku! Mas mahirap pag pareho na kayong nakatali sa iba noh!)

2.) Isn't life so unfair? You turn out to love someone who could not love you just the same but still you continue loving because you hope things will end up fine but they wouldn't. You cry, you feel bad, and you end up broken. You want to hurt that person, but you hurt more. Still that person doesn't care. Why does love exist? To make us happy for a minute or to hurt us for the rest of our lives? Funny it is to realize that before it all ends, you'll find yourself thinking that you still want to return to whom your heart belongs. (Pag-ibig = Katangahan... haaaaaaay!)

3.) By some mischief of fate, we might only truly fall in love once. You know, that one great love old folks refer to. Many lovers may get into our lives but there is only one person, with that one smile,one kiss, one hug and one moment, that our hearts will never replace. That person, usually but sad, is the one that got away. That's why, after all the chips are down, we know, we just know, we will never fall in love that way again. (wala anko masabi!)

4.) The rain falls... Because the sky can no longer handle its heaviness. Just like tears... it falls.. because the heart can no longer handle the pain. (So, that's why I always cry. Bwahahaha!)

5.) In love, when break up comes and its time to say goodbye, dont doubt the love just because it didn't last. May mga bagay sa buhay na di man nagtatagal, it doesn't mean na di na totoo. "some good things are just never meant to last forever." Ok lang yun. Bless the parting and move on. Expect the tears, sorrows, sleepless night and pain. Ika nga, it is when you hurt the worst that you love the most. Kung di ka willing masaktan, wag ka nalang magmahal... (OUUUUCH! SAPUL!)

tubig dagat

Ang hirap talaga kapag sarili na ang kalaban. Kahit anong sabihin at gawin parang wala kang laban. Kung minsan pa nga nasa harap mo na ang sagot ayaw mo pang paniwalaan.Nakikita na ang katotohanan pilit mo paring iniwasan. Mas pinapakinggan ang bulong ng puso at pilit itinatanggi ang laman ng isipan.

Sabi nila, "Kung ukol bubukol" at "Kung kayo, kayo talaga." Kung hindi naman daw kahit anong pilit wala talagang mangyayari kaya kalimutan nalang. Pero paano mo kakalimutan ang taong nagpapangiti sa'yo sa umaga, ang nagbibigay kulay sa malungkot mong buhay? Para bang sa tuwing sasabihing "WALA NA, KALIMUTAN MO NA!" ay sinasabing "TAMA NA, HUWAG KA NANG HUMINGA!"

Mas madali sana ang lahat kung pagkakataon o panahon lang ang problema. Pero paano kung yung tao mismo ang problema? S'ya na tumigil sa paniniwala at bumitiw na. Bawat segundong wala s'ya sa tabi mo para kang sinusugatan. Bawat minuto ay para bang paulit-ulit kang sinasaktan. Sa bawat oras na lumilipas ay unti-unti kang inaalisan ng katinuan. Sino nga ba ang dapat sisihin? S'ya na maagang nagising sa katotohanan o ikaw na nag-papakatanga at nagbubulag-bulagan?

Masakit? OO NAMAN! Mahirap? SOBRA! Pero ano pa nga ba ang magagawa kundi ang tanggapin ang katotohanan. Dahil patuloy ang buhay anuman ang mangyari.

LESSONS IN LIFE

Noong grade 3 ako, gustong gusto ko ang kantang "Love will Lead You Back." It took me three weeks before I was able to memorize the lyrics and hit the correct notes.

Noong grade 6 naman ako, gustong gusto ko naman matuto magbisikleta. Lahat kasi ng kalaro ko may bike at marunong mag bike. Nag-pabili ako kahit di pa ako marunong. Syempre, ilang beses ako tumaob at nasugatan bago ako natuto. Yung peklat ko sa siko nakuha ko yun nung minsan akong sumemplang.

Nung 3rd year high school na ko, naaalala ko nagkaroon kami ng project sa T.H.E. Pinagtahi kami ng shorts. Two weeks bago ko nagawa ng tama yung project ko. Late ko na nga sya na-ipasa at andami kong nasayang na tela bago ako natuto.

Lesson:

May mga bagay na hindi nakukuha sa madalian. Madalas kelangan mo talagang pagtiyagaan at pagsikapan. Hindi sapat yung gusto mo lang. Kung gusto mo, gagawa at gagawa ka ng paraan.

May mga pagkakataon na kelangan mo muna madapa at masaktan bago ka matuto. Hanggang hindi mo nararanasan, hindi mo maiintindihan. Tatatak lang sayo ang tama sa mali sa oras na ikaw ay masaktan.

May mga bagay din na kelangan mong bigyan ng panahon. Yun bang dapat hayaan mo lang hanggang sa dumating ang tamang pagkakataon. Yun bang magpapaunawa saiyo na hindi porke nagkamali ka mahina ka na. Basta alam mo kung paano bumangon, magsikap, magtiyaga at lumaban, magtatagumpay ka.

BESHIE

10 years ago, I met this sweet and talented guy. He is such a great dancer and now a fantastic chef in Dubai. He is my bestfriend turned boyfriend turned bestfriend again. We've been friends since college days and I really value our friendship. Bihira na kasi makahanap ng tao na nandyan parati sa tabi mo through thick and thin.

Today, he turned another year older. Wish ko lang sana tama na ang pagiging sumpungin. Tama na yung ako nalang ang sumpungin... hehehe! I also wish him happiness and peace of mind. Wag masyado utu-uto para di naloloko ha! mwah.